I’m procrastinating as I write this. What I should be doing is studying for the two other tests I have this week, the SAT I have on Saturday, and the test I have on Monday. But instead I’m writing. And I don’t even like writing. What is this… paradox…

It’s procrastination at it’s finest. I have the most awful habit of choosing to procrastinate more under stress. When I have tons of things to do and as tasks build up, I tend to stray farther from what I need to do and do random things that I don’t even necessarily enjoy, such as online shopping, and Facebook, and reading blogs. I need to do stuff. I have so much homework. How ’bout dem dancing cats and dogs on Youtube? And I find myself, sitting in my room, hours (okay, not really hours) gone by, feeling guilty and even more stressed out. Truthfully,  for me, it’s a palliative way for me to cope with the pressure that is my life. I convince myself that if I consume myself with happiness, the bad will go away.

The confusing part is that I know what I’m doing is not beneficial at all. It’s not like I am someone who keeps off their homework until the night before – I’m usually quite good at getting that done. Those procrastinators who can wait and stall until the last possible moment to do something are also absolutely blessed with the gift to stay focused on getting it done when it needs to be done. For me, I comprehend the necessity of me completing the work and studying for the test or something or other, but I simply push it away. It’s really a bad habit.

I’m sorry for the rambling. Just needed to get that off my chest. Off to go study for AP Chem!!!!!

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