I wanted this blog to be a very personal one. However, due to the random things that I like to do and am passionate about, people have been following me. It kind of goes against all of my intentions of the creation of this blog and exactly what I wanted it to be used for. Originally, it was words that were written by myself for myself, but I found myself, because of stats and followers and likes and comments (even as sparse as they come) writing with an audience in mind. I have taken to writing “you” rather than just writing my sentiments and I try to revise and write for myself again, but it is not as easy as simply changing “you” to “I.”
It kind of feels weird and it kind of makes me feel uncomfortable because it was entirely not what I wanted to do I guess … and then suddenly it is? It does make me happy that people are reading what I write and liking it or commenting it and I feel myself getting more immersed in the culture of a “blog” rather or not my pictures and random quotes and sharing of videos and long essays constitute the standards of one 😛
I think it is quite interesting that people all around the world are reading what I’m writing and somehow, I have changed so that I’m not thinking about myself anymore and more about other people and what they are facing and just, simply thrusting my life out there bit by bit so that I’m not just one person secluded in the bubble that is real life and my home, but also someone who can say that I made someone’s day in Malaysia or that I have connections and people may be thinking about me and the world or something that I have influenced them to ponder about. It’s hard to put it in words without sounding selfish or stupid or self-promoting – because when you post blogs and add tags, you automatically communicate that you want to be popular through blogging and you want people to look at your stuff, etc., etc.
So I guess all I am saying is my purpose has changed in a way. I want to be personal. But I want to do something or create something that other people can look at that and say they learned something or felt something wasn’t a waste of time. Some parts may speak to people, other parts may be quite personal that it can only be related to me. This blog? It’s a conglummeration of the person I am. Tiny tidbits and parts.