family

Kairos Retreat

It’s been a week since Kairos retreat. And the Kai-high has gone away and the people that I grew close to have slowly started to fade from my mind… but I can still sense it. The happiness in the air. The genuine truth and desire. The fragile breaking of hearts. The gentle opening of vulnerability.

What an amazing retreat.

Shout out to my loves Peyton, Justine, Nick, Payas, Maddie, and Gerber heh because it was through them, I was able to talk about things I’ve never actually talked about to anyone. And it felt like a pressure had lifted – and pretty relevant I suppose since it’s Easter time and Good Friday for me to confess all of my insecurities, my sins, in front of these people – the football guy, the stuco pres, the computer guy, the volleyball champ, and my friend – and just let it all go. We talked until 3 in the morning and then we went over to another room so we could hang out some more and there we were, I remember …

lying on Peyton’s bed, hearing Mike talk, gathered around each of us, nerds and friends and cool kids and unpopular kids and soccer buddies and all these people in my school, brought together by the magic of Kairos.

Kairos, built on the relationships between us and the people we love, in order to show us how much God loves us

Kairos, where I can listen and learn and hear of all these stories of so many people, and just be blown away by the things people have to handle, let me never forget Madame Thiel and Niko’s story, because all they do is remind me of the beautiful lucky life I live

Kairos, a place to grow together in God, and to grow together through friendship and love

Kairos, a special time where we can all be who we truly want to be, where we find out the truths of all those around us, and to find ourselves in an intimacy as never before

Kairos, where through Letter Night, may we cry our souls out and be blown away by the love of our friends and family and just sit there trembling with the flood of tears at the edge of our eyes and the hush as we unroll hundreds, thousands of letters of love

Kairos

Cry the first

Doubt the second

Trust the third

Live the fourth

May I always try to live the fourth, to be the person that I always wanted to be, and to become closer to more people and reach out and let others know that I care. I genuinely care. Each of you.

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30 Days of Thanks – Day 30

Holy poopsicle

This is my last freaking day.

Holy guacamole.

I can’t believe it.

Looking wholeheartedly back on this challenge, I am so thankful for MY LIFE. In all of it’s totalities.

I am so blessed with beautiful and wondrous friends and family.

They are my supporters and my encouragers, my companions and my lovers.

I realize that my life is fully set because of the relationships that I have. It is not so much about the physical things that I have, but all about the relationships.

I thank God most of all. He has blessed me with great things.

30 Days of Thanks – Day 10

Wow… I feel like I started this yesterday. O.o Time moves so fast.

Also complete sidenote, but suddenly I’ve been getting so much traffic on my blog and I have no idea how that happened … I don’t think I’m doing anything significantly different other than posting a bit more… ????

Anyway, on to thanks.

I am thankful for love 🙂 For family and friends and maybe just the general love that flows from humanity.

I was on a run today and I just saw this old Chinese grandmother stop walking and go over to this newborn baby in the hands of an American mother. Even though she couldn’t speak English, there was a certain acknowledgment as they both looked at the baby, a certain love that’s in the air that shows the inner connection of love that transcends all boundaries. It was just a really good feeling. I think I ran with a greater spring in my step.

There is nothing more important to me than family. My family is beautiful, wonderful, not perfect, but always trying. They are always there for me, my brother, my mother, and my father, all in their unique ways. My mom pushes me so hard in everything I do, because she wants me to be successful. My dad is there to keep me calm, to provide a voice of reason and comfort in my life. And my brother? He always stands up for me. Always, always, always.

My best friend and I have less than a  year left together… it’s actually really quite sad. We are both seniors. We met many many years ago and we just simply do not have the time to even go to each other’s house for a sleepover or talk to one another because we are just so busy, so the chance encounters that we have are treasured. I miss her a lot. But there is something absolutely brilliant in having the stability and comfort of a forever friend that you know you’ll never lose.

There is that saying that goes

‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

Suffering through the hardness of trying to maintain a sort of long distance relationship, I find myself going back to this quote a lot. And I think it is true.. not so much the lost part – lol that would be kinda bad – but the fact that love or like (in my case) is not easy. I look around at all the parents, all the couples around me and now I suddenly have a greater realization that they must have each had to deal with their own problems before they reached a solid sure love. Because he makes me so happy, gives me butterflies, a perfect euphoria at times… I think it’s worth all the suffering because there’s something strangely blissful about knowing someone accepts you for who you are and likes you that way.

JESUS PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY GOD because God is the most loving of them all. (Sidenote: I did really well on my physics test today, and my other physics test was curved… so praise Jesus for that too :)) God is always there for me. Through the thick. Through the thin. When times are hard, when there is no one else to turn to. God is always freaking by my side. That is always enough.

So yes. Love is very important.

Praise Jesus for one of the best days.

Prayer Post

Too much to keep track (ugh)

– for health and recovery for a dear friend

– for peace, safety, and happiness in mi familia

– for school

– for my senior friends’ college apps

– for my brother’s many injuries

– and to everybody else, that you may be happy and feel blessed, to have your wounds healed and your tears wiped away, to see light in the darkness, and to know that God is watching over you and your loved ones. 🙂

if you see this, give this a little prayer

just wanted to get these things safely secured and documented,

lots of ❤