friendship

Between Cultures

View story at Medium.com

This is an article about the differences between Chinese relationships and American relationships… and as a Chinese-American, one who has the ability to experience both worlds in entirely new lights, this seems to hit the nail on the head. To summarize, Americans manage to have a lot of acquaintances, treat everybody with a great deal of respect, but their actions often times do not go as far as their words do. Chinese people, on the other hand, have a small group of friends, treat strangers quite rudely, but once you’re into the inner circle, you are showered with kindness and sincere love.

There is, I do not believe, a right culture or a better one.. there are just all sorts of cultures with their pros and their cons. It’s a fascinating read and it does make me quite proud to be both Chinese and American.

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30 Days of Thanks – Day 30

Holy poopsicle

This is my last freaking day.

Holy guacamole.

I can’t believe it.

Looking wholeheartedly back on this challenge, I am so thankful for MY LIFE. In all of it’s totalities.

I am so blessed with beautiful and wondrous friends and family.

They are my supporters and my encouragers, my companions and my lovers.

I realize that my life is fully set because of the relationships that I have. It is not so much about the physical things that I have, but all about the relationships.

I thank God most of all. He has blessed me with great things.

30 Days of Thanks – Day 23

Sometimes I just like to dwell on the topic of popularity and how much I’m influenced by it and how much everybody in society is influenced by it. Very recently, my friend accidentally left my name off of an invite list for homecoming, so I was very confused when people asked me if I was going to that person’s house. Instead, I spent needless amount of time worrying about if I had done something to offend her or if she purposely did not want me at her house, etc. etc.

Now flash forward to now, literally two days later, and she sent all the emails to me because she forgot to add my name. People started offering me rides. I got invited to a different person’s pre-homecoming event as well…

And I realize… how superficial I’ve become. I feel guilty because now I look back on this situation and I thank God for always providing for me and making everything work out in the end.

But I also realize that if you are a good person and you treat other people well, good things will happen to you. I should be happy with the people that I have in my life right now because they are everything to me and not worry about such things as popularity.

30 Days of Thanks – Day 3

Hehe Kristi… I’m going to share on here because I’m too private of a person to post on Facebook lolz

I am thankful for all of my frands 🙂

Some of my friends have stuck by me day after day for so many years of my life, back when I was young and prepubescent. They have embraced me without question and are some of the people that I feel so so so comfortable with. You need those type of people in your life. Last week, I think, I skyped one of my friends who lives in China and we talked on the phone for maybe 2 hours… and it’s crazy how even though distance can separate us physically, they can’t separate us in the heart ❤ I am so thankful and so blessed by all the people that I have had the pleasure of meeting

Friendship

A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need. (NLT)

Friendship is a wonderful wonderful wonderful thing.

I met my best friend when I was 7. She was 6. We both played piano with the same teacher and were put together due to our closeness in age to be duet partners. Ohhhhh how we fought. “You are wrong. I am right. It’s your fault, not mine.” We exchanged fiery retorts and accusations to one another, playing off key, unsynchronized, squeezed into a piano bench only meant for one.

We became frenemies. Friends by force, enemies by choice.

Take that a couple years later, and I have just found out that she has gotten into the same middle school. I was hoping she hadn’t gotten in as all my memories were ones of failed piano lessons and awkward elbow jabbing and little girl fights. As I heard her chat happily about her acceptance, secretly I groaned and dreaded the moment I would have to spend 5 out of 7 days of the week with her .

Ironically, it was during middle school that I began to consider her my best friend.

We struggled through middle school together. We became close and closer, forced together by Chinese school and piano lessons and same classes and urging parents. Looking back, our closeness and our friendship came due to odd coincidences and shallow thoughts, some that I don’t even like to admit. We were both Chinese-American girls in the same grade at the same school. We had pressures from our parents and the same likes and dislikes and even the same stupid sense of humor.

And the crush. 

We had the same crush. He had piercing blue eyes and light blond hair. Athletic and smart, funny and shy. We swooned. Our little hearts jumped in delight. We would spend hours locked up in a closet during dinner parties and just straight up gossip about him. Petty little things. I talked to him today. I think he may like you. He glanced my way. He smiled at me.

At the same time as we bonded, we struggled in that phase of our life. We were still frenemies. Friends on the outside, terrible people on the inside. I was jealous of her grades. She was jealous of my popularity. (Side note: that popularity no longer exists hahahahaha sighhhh) We were mean to each other. Selfish. Not like friends are supposed to be.

She began coming to my church when we were in 7th grade. I suppose I helped start her journey in Christ, the one that God was always in control of. Weirdly enough, I was not happy. Simply jealous that she had begun to share my church friends, my church experiences, my role models.

I saw her 7 days a week that time. 5 days of school, Saturday Chinese School, Sunday Church. Every single day. It drove us crazy. We fought like crazy for those two years. Too much of each other. Not enough by ourselves. High school we finally separated. Funnily, ironically, coincidentally, serendipity? She went to the school I wanted to go and I went to the school she wanted to go. Our friendship has spanned a massive 10 years. That’s where the story stops. For now.

Do you know what, though? We’ve stopped being piano duet partners as we are both way too busy. But, if we sit down and play, we are still synchronized. Perfectly. To each note.

Happy ten year friendship BFFLEUWMUIH (best friend for like ever until we meet up in heaven) You are an honorary sister. A member of the Chen clan. The only one who’s seen me mature and grow. The only one who knows truly how I feel and how to comfort me and give me advice and look analytically at my faults. Very few people experience what we have and I am forever blessed with your love. 

And to the readers who judge my horrendous choppy writing style: My thoughts are stars that I cannot fathom into constellations.