school

Kairos Retreat

It’s been a week since Kairos retreat. And the Kai-high has gone away and the people that I grew close to have slowly started to fade from my mind… but I can still sense it. The happiness in the air. The genuine truth and desire. The fragile breaking of hearts. The gentle opening of vulnerability.

What an amazing retreat.

Shout out to my loves Peyton, Justine, Nick, Payas, Maddie, and Gerber heh because it was through them, I was able to talk about things I’ve never actually talked about to anyone. And it felt like a pressure had lifted – and pretty relevant I suppose since it’s Easter time and Good Friday for me to confess all of my insecurities, my sins, in front of these people – the football guy, the stuco pres, the computer guy, the volleyball champ, and my friend – and just let it all go. We talked until 3 in the morning and then we went over to another room so we could hang out some more and there we were, I remember …

lying on Peyton’s bed, hearing Mike talk, gathered around each of us, nerds and friends and cool kids and unpopular kids and soccer buddies and all these people in my school, brought together by the magic of Kairos.

Kairos, built on the relationships between us and the people we love, in order to show us how much God loves us

Kairos, where I can listen and learn and hear of all these stories of so many people, and just be blown away by the things people have to handle, let me never forget Madame Thiel and Niko’s story, because all they do is remind me of the beautiful lucky life I live

Kairos, a place to grow together in God, and to grow together through friendship and love

Kairos, a special time where we can all be who we truly want to be, where we find out the truths of all those around us, and to find ourselves in an intimacy as never before

Kairos, where through Letter Night, may we cry our souls out and be blown away by the love of our friends and family and just sit there trembling with the flood of tears at the edge of our eyes and the hush as we unroll hundreds, thousands of letters of love

Kairos

Cry the first

Doubt the second

Trust the third

Live the fourth

May I always try to live the fourth, to be the person that I always wanted to be, and to become closer to more people and reach out and let others know that I care. I genuinely care. Each of you.

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college visiting

A long delayed post about my college visits in the upper New England area. I visited Dartmouth, Brown, Boston University, Columbia, Harvard, Princeton, Yale, and MIT. Out of all of them, my favorites were Yale and Princeton. As a first semester high school senior, I have fully plunged into the hellish environment that are the college apps. I have sat for days sitting in front of my computer thinking about my failures and my life experiences, trying so hard to make it come out into an accurate and coherent portrayal of who I am… in less than 650 words. Going to these colleges gave me great excitement but contributed to a deep and healthy fear. Obviously, I am not going to get into all of these colleges – I would just be happy to get into one… but even that is a far off dream. It all has become so much more real as I visit them and imagine what four years of my life will be like and as I face and struggle with my own doubts and uncertainties about my own capabilities.

I love the clouds. When we visited Columbia!

I love the clouds. When we visited Columbia!

Princeton was breathtakingly beautiful and also hauntingly quiet as the students were not back yet.

Princeton was breathtakingly beautiful and also hauntingly quiet as the students were not back yet.

It was a rainy day... but it was still beautiful!

It was a rainy day at Yale… but it was still beautiful!

Me and my little bro at MIT, viewing these quirky buildings.

Me and my little bro at MIT, viewing these quirky buildings.

It was absolutely beautiful the day we went to Boston University. Sun, clouds, blue skies.

It was absolutely beautiful the day we went to Boston University. Sun, clouds, blue skies.

Harvard was so typically Bostonian... people milling around, cars passing by. I had the most interesting tour guide.

Harvard was so typically Bostonian… people milling around, cars passing by. I had the most interesting tour guide.

Clouds n trees

Clouds n trees

I love Panera!!! Reminds me of cute and cozy places.

I love Panera!!! Reminds me of cute and cozy places.

We stayed in Providence, Rhode Island. This is their capital building!

We stayed in Providence, Rhode Island. This is their capital building!

a little update on life!

– i’ve been working crazy hard on college apps and summer work and other shtuff

– been a little sad about having to say a lot of farewells this year for when all the college people leave and go back to school

– also dreading the start of school and the start of seeing everybody again

– why can’t summer last forever?

– why can’t i focus on Jesus more? 

– massive pressure from everyone 

 

 

 

 

Prayer Post

Too much to keep track (ugh)

– for health and recovery for a dear friend

– for peace, safety, and happiness in mi familia

– for school

– for my senior friends’ college apps

– for my brother’s many injuries

– and to everybody else, that you may be happy and feel blessed, to have your wounds healed and your tears wiped away, to see light in the darkness, and to know that God is watching over you and your loved ones. 🙂

if you see this, give this a little prayer

just wanted to get these things safely secured and documented,

lots of ❤

Lovely Day

It’s weird, but people should feel happy about everything and anything. Yesterday, I had a lovely school day. School itself was ehhhh, but I got a ride to the train station. I learned how to crochet a sashay scarf. I did well on my quiz. It might not seem like a lot, but it’s the little things in life that make life great.

God is good. All the time. All the time. God is good.